Fear Me Page 37

“Please, you’re scaring me.”

“You should be scared because when I’m done with you there will be nothing left for you to hold on to. I’ll make sure of that. Now take off…the fucking…dress.”

“Isn’t there another way?” I asked even as the last of resistance slipped away.

“No, Monroe, there isn’t.”

I took a deep breath, nodded, and then slipped the straps over my shoulders. As I did, I wondered if he would be gentle or care that it was my first time. As I rose from the bed in front of him to remove my dress, my eyes involuntarily wandered to his chest and for the first time I noticed what looked like a scar just under his heart.  It was faint which meant it must have been really old. I wanted to ask him about it but the voice in my head called common sense told me it was a bad idea.

I quickly looked down before he could notice where my attention was held. His boots were touching the tips of my toes and I felt small compared to his large body.

He never even kissed me. The thought was unexpected and I wondered if I wanted him to kiss me. I peeked up at his lips that looked kissable and perfect. I was so caught in a fantasy involving his lips and mine that I didn’t notice when my dress slipped from my body and pooled around my feet.

His eyes perused my body and just like downstairs there was no emotion or reaction. He barely acknowledged my near naked state before he said, “On your knees.”

“Don’t you want me to finish?” The blush that stole over my cheeks hid my surprise though I didn’t know what I was more surprised over – my question or the fact that he didn’t order me to continue. Then again Keiran was never one to be considered predictable and I already figured out that my brain was pretty much useless when I’m around him.

“Did I tell you to?” The arrogance in his voice and his distant demeanor was increasing my nervousness.

“Th—this is my first time.”

“So?”

“Shouldn’t you kiss me?” Shit. My blush was blushing.

“Who said this is your first time?”

“Well you said –

“I said I wanted you on your knees.”

“Yes, but –”

“So why aren’t you on your knees?”

“Maybe because you didn’t ask me nicely,” I snapped. I had to admit, his mind games were getting to me.

“Nice or not, the result will be the same.” At the look in his eyes, I finally sunk to the floor and felt the plush carpet under my knees.

“I’m on my knees now so what do you want?”

“I want you to finish what you started.”

I knew what he meant without having to be told. My eyes immediately lowered and I eyed the thick leather belt with silver skull heads wrapped around his dark jeans. The way his jeans fits him was meant to tease. They always seemed to hang just around his hips bringing attention to the deep v carving into his waistline and disappearing into his jeans. His erection was straining against the rough material, waiting for me to let it out.

I can do this…should I do this?

“You're thinking too much...” Keiran barked interrupting my private thoughts, “...and I don't trust your thoughts.”

I don't know what came over me when I asked, “Why?” I turned to look directly into his eyes. “Are you afraid of me?” I mocked him, grabbing on to what little fight I had inside. He was going to destroy me anyway. Why not give him a reason?

His stare, however, was overpowering in its intensity. His gaze pierced through my newfound resolve until I lowered my eyes in submission. I was soon kicking my own ass, realizing he just dominated me with a look. I also noticed that his gaze was clear and the realization that came to me had my heart pounding painfully against my chest.

He isn’t drunk. He knows exactly what he is doing.

“The seconds are ticking away in my head and if I get to one, you will regret it,” he said menacingly. Without being told I quickly began undressing him. I reached for the black strap and unbuckled it but in my haste I mistakenly slipped his belt completely off where it nestled in my hands. I looked up at him for reassurance but only found that his control was already gone.

The belt was snatched out of my hands and I was flipped, face down on the floor. The thick carpet muffled any sounds I made. I could see in my peripheral, his booted feet planted on either side of me. My hands were then placed behind me and then something was being wrapped around my wrists.

The belt.

The material of the makeshift restraint was tight and a cry of fear escaped my lips before I could stop it but I didn’t fight back. I didn’t tell him no. He would stop, if I told him no, but he would go after my aunt. He would kill her because he was cruel and knew she was all I had left. I saw my parents again and I cried for them. If they hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t be here and I hated them for it.

I also hated Keiran’s demons that constantly chased him. He lifted me by my hands until I was on my knees again in front of him.  “I’m sorry,” I cried, the words catching in my throat. I didn’t realize that he had been walking out the door until I’d already blurted the words out. He was leaving?

“For what?” He stopped and asked a second later. I could hear the suspicion in his voice.

“That someone hurt you and made you this way.” I instantly regretted the words once they were out but it was too late. His heavy footsteps were loud and hard against the floor as he walked back over to me. I knew he was angry before he even spoke but I didn’t know how much until he spoke.

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